I think I found my motivational gift today. Actually its more like confirmation. Chip Ingram (lote.org) has been teaching on it and I downloaded his sermon notes. From the notes I decided my gift must be exhortation, but in leaving work today I caught a very small piece of his show. It was the piece on exhortation. Exhortation people are the "fixers"and that describes me very well- I see a problem I'm ready to implement a solution to avoid that problem further. One of the dangers he said was that people with that gift tend to get frustrated when things don't move, or people don't make progress very quickly. That is the conclusion I came to yesterday in reflecting on my frustration. I see so clearly what needs to be done to make things better and get terribly frustrated when little or no progress is made. That seems to be my life at present. A friend got a promotion and I'm frustrated slightly that he's not acting. He's probably frustrated with me because he feels me pushing him to bring up issues.

Its been a couple days since the last update. Tomorrow is the deadline for another task that has been hanging over my head. Its not ready, but I feel better about it (spring schedule) because I may have some PT help lined up.

The review today is Luke 3 The Luke story of John the Baptist ministry. John emphasized bearing fruits in keeping with repentance, bearing fruits is an active task. Lineage, heritage, past do not guarantee right relationship with God. Its a day to day thing. As fruit trees produce fruit every year, so should Christians accomplish feats clearly showing their love for God regularly. How- Share your resources with those in need, if you have authority over people, do not use that authority to take advantage of others. Jesus was baptized by John and started His ministry. The lineage of Jesus is then recorded 77 generations between creation and Jesus. Enoch was generation 7 and he was taken to heaven. Wonder if anyone has tracked Jesus brothers' lineage to see how many generations has passed? Wonder what happens at 777? Oh that Jesus would come soon.

I haven't looked again at my purpose statement, but have rather moved on to look at my strengths and weaknesses. I'm part of the way through that, and today became a very frustrating day. First thing I had a good solution to a problem that I hear more or less constant grumbling about at work- evening coverage. I shared my idea with my manager and he wrote back that he agreed but basically he was not going to have the policy reviewed. Nothing is of course written so its one of those policies of whim, and not the whim of the people who have to make sacrifices to implement. "Policy of whim" what a neat concept, and how prevalent. I see so clearly the importance of saying what you do -in writing, and doing what you say. I've had experience in implementing that kind of change, and have witnessed the benefits. So the really frustrating part is when people choose not to change things in a positive direction. I can clearly see the ramifications of the status quo, and can easily come up with how the given "reasons" will fail. I used to think of that trait in me as a negative, but I see it now as a positive. People labeling me as "troublemaker" or someone with a "negative opinion" is merely their opinion. Its far easier to label someone than strive to understand their point of view. I'm just as guilty as anyone of that- something to improve on. I also attended "mandatory training" which conflicted with my classes, and by the time I got to class some of my students -that were alerted to the fact I would be late had decided I took too long and left. last night in our Bible read and share group a lady said just Praise God when things don't go well. So praise God, Praise God.

Before updating the blog I was looking at employment options elsewhere, and not praising God. it seemed a dead end, of course I have a vision for what I want- I just didn't see any. Maybe I'm not supposed to. One of the things I identified as a weakness or a reason I'm not successful is overcommitting, or having to many irons in the fire. That was readily apparent today. I did however work one thing closer to being off my list- spring schedule. I have a tentative plan, but when I put it down to go home and consider it some more, I had this terrible urge to tear it into a zillion pieces. Scheduling on the surface seems easy, but coordinating classes so there is no conflict timewise between classes of other instructors and always going last has gotten really old. The goal is a good one- make sure students can take as many classes as they want. Since I agree with that as a desirable goal I really stress over scheduling.

Oh well enough- most people have quit reading by now. Mark 1 is today's review. Mark covers Jesus arrival, ministry of John the Baptist , His Temptation, calling the first disciples and the start of Jesus ministry all in the first chapter. He went to Simon's mother-in-law and healed her. Once that word got out, everyone with sickness or demon possession was brought to Him, He healed many. The text says "all" were brought to him and He healed "many". I don't know how it is worded in the original Greek. God Through Jesus certainly could heal "all", but He may chose not to. depending on how it fits into His will. Jesus did seek a secluded place to pray- which He did regularly, and then moved around starting His ministry. Word got out that He was able to heal, so people sought Him out. As I was reading this it struck me about the leper He healed. If the leper that beseeched Jesus to heal him did not have leprosy, would he have sought Jesus out? Is sickness and disease allowed by God to draw people unto Himself, what else would make them come otherwise? People focus on God during crisis usually after other avenues have been exhausted. The same is true for sickness and disease. People run to a doctor, but when the doctor can't help them or the treatments don't work then suddenly God becomes a priority in peoples lives. We should put Him first, I think it would save some anxiety in our lives.

Putting God first will make dealing with human policies of whim easier.

Well the self reflection is coming along. There are some hard questions, and most of them were adapted for students to think about what they wanted out of their education. I changed it to focus on my career, and to reflect on whether or not I wanted to continue my education. I came up with things I want more so in life rather than from education. Being debt free is a repeated theme, and some of my wants would be easily fulfilled with that accomplished. Additionally I think helping others is important.

From this list we are to write a purpose statement. My first draft:

My purpose is to serve God and my Lord Jesus Christ by:
-Using my knowledge and teaching folks skills and concepts that lead to a better life for ALL - no one left behind, or no progress at the expense of others- way too common these days.
-To give a substantial part of my income back to the work above, meaning time and money. More than a tithe or a tenth- there is nothing more important than people collectively living for God. From my Bible readings and my knowledge of history it has NEVER happened completely. Close but not quite, and not sustained - our human condition is pretty fallen.
-To enjoy His creation of nature and spend time in His nature and enjoy His created beauty.

I still need something concerning how to approach relationships. Haven't thought much of it, but as I was typing this I need something there.

The log entry is Matthew 3. Matthew 3 is the Matthew version of John the Baptist ministry and the Baptism of Jesus. What struck me was that Pharisees and Sadducees started coming for Baptism. Why? Was it the commotion caused by the people? John asked who warned them, and then charged them to bear fruit in keeping with repentance. He further reminded that lineage was not a factor or a guarantee of anything, that God could make "children" of Abraham from stones. He absolutely could - if we were made from dust.

Well today was great, I had breakfast with a CMA chapter. CMA is Christian Motorcycle Association. It was clear those folks loved the Lord, and wanted to serve Him. They went for a ride after breakfast and their meeting and hopefully got to let their youth ride- that was the plan.

I came home because I wanted to go work a little bit on the trail I adopted. That is the picture- looking down the trail. Our dogs needed an outing as well so they could spend some time neither penned up or leashed. I wound up working only about an hour and a half. A thunderstorm blew in and the rain was pleasantly chilly. Of course I was back to the vehicle before the rain started. Hopefully I did some good, I feel an all over soreness and tiredness- the good kind.

Once I finish this I'm going to go read for my study skills class, I've taken two days off, and I want to keep exploring.

Interestingly I'm reading at two places in the Bible, in one place they are about to crucify Jesus and the Pharisees are claiming "no prophet ever comes from Galilee". Then I get to review and a prophecy is quoted that Christ will be called a Nazarene.

Here are my thoughts on Matthew 2, It tells the story of the wise men from the east following the star to Bethlehem. They must have been very important for King Herod to see them, they were also knowledgeable about what the star meant. King Herod knew enough to ask about the prophecy and who to ask, but he couldn't accept God's will because he tried to kill Jesus, and consequently all male children from the town of Bethlehem below the age of two. People are so quick to sacrifice others for what they want. It is utter foolishness to fight against what God is doing. God communicated to the wise men through dreams as well as Joseph to tell him to flee to Egypt. He later directed Joseph to bring Jesus and Mary back to Israel and told them where to settle. The prophesy said He would be called a Nazarene, but the Pharisees state that no prophets ever come from Galilee of which Nazareth is a town.

I savored today the teaching of the Lord. Isa 55:8 and how God's plans are not our plans and how God's thoughts are not our thoughts. That passage struck me that my wife and I think differently and do things differently, and that our marriage relationship is a model for my relationship with Christ. Additionally it came to me that when she hugs me it is the closest thing in this life to being hugged by God. Whether our ways and thoughts are the same or not. It definitely will require some continued reflection in that area, and thinking in those terms I realize many of my own shortcomings.

I put the marriage and the Isaiah quote in my other written log to review and post here at some later date. It will be neat to review it again, and add any additional thoughts that come to mind. Personal relationships are so deep, and God is so deep I can't imagine it- I'm pretty sure there is a scripture to that effect. My thought for today is just a praise of God, and that He wants a special relationship with each and everyone of us is again mind boggling.

The review and posting for toaday is Luke 2. It required some slight rewording for some clarity and it was a joy to review it.

God used a government decree to get Joseph and Mary to Bethlehem for the birth of Jesus. That is very striking in the chapter. Even though the government wasn't faithfully following the Lord (few do) He is in control and when He wants something to happen it does.

Additionally God working through the birth of His Son resulted in celebration by the shepherds. He sent angels to the shepherds who rejoiced, and decided to go see the special baby.

When Jesus was presented at the Temple, two of God's servants recognized who He was even though He was an eight day old baby. People who study and follow God are aware of what He is doing. One was promised that he would not die until he saw the Lord's Christ. He was grateful and rejoiced even though the Lord's Christ was a baby. Anna had been in the temple for most of her life serving God and she also recognized Christ as a baby.

Twelve years pass to a time when Jesus was 12 and His family went to Jerusalem. He got separated from them on the return trip and Mary and Joseph looked for Him for "Three" days. The "three" days jumps out at me for some reason, I see it as a similarity to the cross and He was separated from His followers for three days. At 12 years old when His parents found Him, He was doing His Father's business. When He went to the cross He was doing His Father's will.

I did assign some HW today. Easy though and minimal-some of my students work.

Wow- this study skills class is exactly what I needed. It is causing me to to review and define things and basically explore myself. Most of the tips it gives are biblical, even though the Bible isn't referenced. For example on changing habits it says to: determine your values, envision the new habit or characteristic mentally, affirm it by speaking like its already in existence. Then practice it. Its like exercising (exactly like) exercising faith. Its been marvelous. In a few pages the text asks the student to reflect on some goals around school and other goals in your life. One of the exercises I did complete asked us to thumb through the book and find interesting topics we want to explore. I need some name remembering skills, conflict tips, and to establish the habit of being more positive. All of which are topics we will explore. Its also neat that the advice given so far is based on the Bible, I just wonder if the author knows? There is a lot of good practical life advice contained in the Bible, and God has provided it for us. I didn't read it when I was young for all the reasons people probably give for not reading it: didn't need it, its out of date, its the book that people who think they are better than me are always promoting and they are hypocrits so it can't be for me. Sadly with age I realize that none of those reasons are valid. The hypocrits I spoke of may promote the Bible but they didn't get their attitude from reading it, sadly most of them probably have never read it.

Anyway another reflection entry :Matthew 1 God told Abraham that he God would bless all nations through Abraham. 42 generations later Christ was born. Forty-two consider that for a minute. At our very best we might be able to get together 4-5 generations of people- you've seen the photos. Imagine 42, but God kept His promise as He always does.

The text then shifts to Joseph and Mary engaged. Joseph finds out she is pregnant -so he assumes as anyone would that she had slept with someone else, or committed adultery. Scripture contains several passages about not being involved with those who commit adultery or you also will be guilty. Joseph knowing this and trying to follow God plans to obey the written word thus far and the teachings he had received. God specifically intervenes to inform him that the situation with Mary is different and he is to go ahead and marry her. God specifically spoke to Joseph (through a dream) and Joseph obeyed because he knew it was God and that this situation was different from the teaching he had received. Joseph was not stubbornly set in his ways- he did his best to do what he believed God wanted and was open to new information (new leadings) and then followed them faithfully. That we would ask God to direct our lives, and do what He would tell us. We also need to be sure if we are led in a new way that it is from God. One of the tricks of satan is to pretend to be an angel of light. God will make sure you understand its from Him if you question. He will tell you multiple times if it is from Him and you will have a quiet confidence that it is from Him.

My classes went well today but there will be challenges. HW is the largest one. I need to develop meaningful HW assignments that aren't too burdensome, but give the students a chance to work with the important concepts important in the class. Too much and they won't do it, but rather seek "extra credit" to make up for the credit the make a decision not to do. Also HW is a burden on me in terms of grading. This semester also presents the challenges of having to help the students progress a long way in their learning in a short time. I do feel as though I didn't mislead them in advising, I said the courses would reinforce each other, but that a great deal of work would be required. Based on the reaction I saw, they underestimated the required commitment. I need to reinforce the material with something and pray for their patience and commitment.

I'm feeling better- many people are praying for me and I can sense it. The pastor sent an email reminding us that God's thoughts are always on us, He wants the best for us (but will allow us to do our own thing even if it hurts other people), and He wants a relationship with us. Oh that we could keep our sights set on Him rather than falling back into our own personal selfishness.

To continue reviewing and posting, the next entry is from John 1. The word became flesh, He created the world, Jesus was there with the Father during creation. All the beautiful things we see in nature Jesus created, all the things we have discovered He allowed. I wonder if He thought of each of us that marvel at the beauty of creation as he made it? He possibly looked through time at the smile we show when we see some beauty and marvel of God.

We get a glimpse of John the Baptist- doing what He was called to do, following the instructions God gave him for his life. I don't feel as though I have a specific direction or instructions to follow in terms of my life, its something I seek. In John's case people started following him and became his disciples, but when Jesus came by they left John for Jesus as they should have. He let them and knew that that was the best thing. We too often cling to relationships and other things that we should send on to Jesus.

The Pharisees didn't understand or didn't foresee the ministry of John the Baptist and went to ask him questions, while the disciples recognized the Messiah. Who was in tune with the Father? The Pharisees studied the scripture, but through their own selfishness and personal agendas became blind to truth, they missed it. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in things like a church and our habits we feel bring us closer to God, that we forget our mission. Reach out. Let Christ live through us, go to the people of the world. The disciples realized they needed God and with that were receptive to His coming into their lives and following Him. The Pharisees thought they had it all figured out, and didn't realize they needed God.

We should develop the habit of daily study and asking God for direction so we can see Him moving and working. This will make us more aware of His plans, and lessen our focus on our own plans. However, we will never be "perfect" in this life, we need to constantly be aware of our continuing need for God. Or else we will become blind and fall into the trap of the Pharisees.

First of I hope many

A couple of personal observations- I've been dreading a new course I was asked to teach "study skills". I didn't know how to go about it, but in looking at the material it appears that a lot of personal self reflection and deciding goals and steps to achieve those goals are a very important part of the course. So I will continue the self exploration/ or self reflection I have recently begun. So God probably had His hand in it (definitely). One thing I seem to have difficulty with at this point is goals. I need to think about some specific goals and how I might get there. In the course, the students will have goals around becoming better students primarily, but also some life goals. Hopefully there will be some interesting discussions. One goal I made last year was a review of the New Testament.

I have reviewed the first entry and overall was still pleased with it, and am going to post it here. I will also endeavor to post more of them and continue the reading and reflection. I have not actively done anything with it for six months though. Along with that some personal thoughts, I mainly feel really down, and stressed, to the point I am starting to question my occupation. However another occupation I realize may not be an answer, but rather a distraction. Some people go from one distraction to another their whole lives so as to avoid learning themselves. Maybe they don't like the feelings when they self reflect, maybe they never have. Life can be one distraction after another, and its easy to fall into that mode. I believe I might have.

For some time now God has been laying on my heart the desire to slowly and carefully read the new testament, and later the entire Bible recording my thoughts and prayers as I go. Its not about me but rather about Him, I may not see what He wants me to, or I may not record it the way He wants it recorded. So the Bible remains the final authority (or Christ Himself), but it will be a way to record my understanding and how I perceive Gods position on some of the issues of my day.

Generally speaking the longer I live the more I see that this world needs Gods Holy Spirit leading. Some of the “norms” of my day I have come to completely reject in terms of being what God would want us to do.

It struck me the other day that we as humans don’t listen to God’s leadings as we should. The Bible is full of examples where other people caught a vision of what God purposed to accomplish and then they “helped” God out -like He needed it. Its my prayer that I will faithfully share what He shows me through scripture reading.

I also realize my own wretchedness and that God has anything to do with me is nothing short of amazing. To say “we have all fallen short” is most definitely an understatement. Just “missing the mark” might mean we are in some fashion near what God had intended. The truth is that most of us are woefully short. May God work through me as I get out of the way and let Him.

The first chapter is Luke 1 (chronological by chapter).

Luke 1 That is a long Chapter. Its starts with Zacharias being promised a son (John the Baptist)) Interestingly enough it states he and his wife Elizabeth faithfully followed the Lord for their entire lives. By lot (which God controls) he got to go burn incense before the Lord and an angel appeared to him. It also mentioned others were praying (where 2 or 3 are gathered...). After following the Lord for years he asked for proof that what the angel said was true and consequently his speech was taken. It is difficult to accept changes or new things as we get older because we have that history, and we must be vigilant that God will do what He says, even if we have years of experience and memory that says otherwise.

The next story is the immaculate conception. Nobody has any human experience with a woman becoming pregnant without having sexual relations. I think there are some examples in nature of other species but not human. Mary being young, accepted the word of the angel, and instead of asking for proof asked how it would be done. When God tells you something that your experience makes you skeptical of ask the "how" question instead of demanding "give me proof".

The two stories contrast possible reactions. One from someone who had followed God his entire life, and a young woman (or girl). Life experience on one hand seems to make people less likely to believe God will act or do a certain thing. However life experience makes us cognizant of our own mortality and aware of our shortcomings. Its interesting how we change throughout our life stages.

Elizabeth's baby leaped in the womb upon hearing Mary's voice, who was only at the most a few weeks pregnant. Two examples of God recognizing people as people before they were born.

For me the immaculate conception is easy to believe God is BIG. He knit us all together and for Him to cause Mary to become pregnant is not difficult to believe. Others may say she slept around and got in trouble but they are denying the greatness of God (making Him smaller) and trying to explain the happening based on what they have experienced and not what God said. They also were not there, and neither was I so any discussion of the virgin conception and later birth is a distraction. People will either imagine a God that could bring that about or they will choose not to. It can't be "proven" one way or the other.

Another interesting thought is that news of John the Baptist conception and birth was cause for joy. The people realized God was acting and they praised Him for it. It takes time for a baby to be born grow up and act (or start his/her occupation). In this day we want everything now, we don't want to wait. We want that new car, that fast computer, the latest electronic gadget, and we don't want to wait, its "inconvenient". We know the car will wear out, the computer will be replaced by a faster model, and the electronic gadget will have a better one come out next year. We sacrifice our time and resources (extra resources if we borrow money to get that car -NOW) to get things now. Its interesting that the culture of that time was satisfied to know that God was working out His will and they were alive to see it. From Baby to ministry in Jesus case was 30 years. Is there any person or thing you would rejoice about now knowing a potential 30 year wait lay ahead ? A lifetime of waiting for action based on a promise. In our day we want the follow through NOW.

In conclusion I hope and pray for God's blessings on the reader. He has blessed me a great deal, some of which I only see after the passage of time.

I also need to remember to type things as text, then cut and paste.

August 16, 2007

Blogging is a way for me to share what God has shared with me. I think it will be neat to try and see God through the sharing of my life experiences. This morning I was awakened early, and in general haven't been getting much sleep. I had been thinking about creating this blog, and what to do for a picture? how much personal information to share? how it might be viewed by my employer? how it might be viewed by my family?

In considering these things I came to the realization that most people do not care what I think, nor do they want to hear my opinions on topics. To that I further realized that most people don't want to hear what God thinks or His opinion either. So someone having an issue with my posts I will consider to be of minimal risks- nobody has ever hung on my every word. In terms of personal information I decided against a picture - who cares what I look like. I was made in the image of God (as were we ALL). The personal information will be minimal, but I may change it over time.

Interestingly I started about a year ago a thoughts on the new testament. I wrote it so it could be shared, and hopefully someone might find some help in the words, and maybe comfort. Maybe even a change in perspective or at least consideration of it. There is a great deal of mis-communication in this world, and often people look at issues from too narrow a perspective. Sharing thoughts between people lead to understanding and personal growth. This is an excellent way to do that, although very few people will probably read it or care. I'm going to review my previous thoughts and post some of that and hopefully continue them. As I age and have life experiences, some of them will show up here as well- at least that is my hope.

I personally have been trying to be more positive, and I don't wish anyone any harm. I have lots of "struggle" areas, and am usually seeking to become a better person. Some of those may end up in posts.

Anyway, its an outline and a start.