We can't change people, sometimes we might order them around and as they comply get a false sense of control but we do not control. The only thing we truly control is our relationship to the Lord. We have to work on that and as suffering comes as it surely will we can either cave and hide from the Lord or grow deeper into Him. We can't control others and as we draw closer to Him it becomes unmistakable that the person so frustrating to us is the one we should be asking our Father how best to deal with.
Ask the Lord why you suffer, its relationship building. We want easy street, auto-pilot but that doesn't drive us to Him.
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